:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
