Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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