You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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