so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
