I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
