He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize