I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
