If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
