Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
