Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
