U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
