wakey wakey hands off snakey
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
