So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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