Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
