weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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