***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you would pick up someone in the library
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
