You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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