i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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