i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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