i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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