i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
God, I missed his penis.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
