your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Everclear isn't food dammit
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
