My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
