this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
