I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
