He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize