imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
