so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize