my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
