im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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