i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
