I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
