Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
