Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There are leaves in my underwear?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
