i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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