she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
