Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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