Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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