My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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