She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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