Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
