i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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