Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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