One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
