I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
