FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
