this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
