did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
There's even glitter on my cock...
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