I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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