What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
