I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
