so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
