No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this just has baby written all over it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
