he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
