Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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