What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
