...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I stole a fireplace last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
