I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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