? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Are we still banned from the library?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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