Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
