WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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