Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
