this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
