i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
