She said her name was "party"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize