Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
