omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
