i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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