he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You don't make any sense
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