Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Terrible idea I love it
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
