hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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